SimCity – The New One

As in, not any of the old SimCity games, but the new one that was very recently in closed beta.

I was one of the people lucky enough to get access to the last closed beta. A bit bummed in the fact that I was only allowed to play 1 hour worth at a time, but I have to admit that this shiny new version of SimCity captured and held my attention well.

Were there issues? Yea, there were a few. No big, game-killing bugs, thankfully. Nothing that could have been taken advantage of, just silly stuff like the Sim walking through their porch instead of on their porch.

(I did report as many bugs as I could remember – at first, I had Origin incorrectly set up so I couldn’t submit from within the game. I’m linking this article that states that EA won’t block people for not reporting all bugs, because damn it! I tried! )

The thing I hated most about the game, is being tied to a server. I don’t like being at the mercy of someone else’s connection in order to be able to play – not to mention my own, sometimes spotty, connection.

Not only that, but it’s a monitored server. Meaning someone is watching your every move in-game. No more naming your cities and Mayors after naughty body parts (fuck you, I can be a kid as long as I want!).

In fact, there was one round where I named my town something ultra mature and witty, like “Dickton” or “Cuntton”. After a couple minutes, my town’s name changed to “********”, and I was suddenly overrun by zombies.

Yes. I was “punished” by EA’s server monitoring staff by being given a plague of zombie-itis. A disappointment in the Big Brother side, but a grand tip-of-the-hat to them as well.

It makes me torn. I really don’t want to be spied on while I’m playing. I like making towns in the shape of dicks. But at the same time, being punished with zombies or randomly AWESOME disasters like that is pretty fucking cool. (Obviously, I wouldn’t be able to keep it up and get “punished” more, because eventually I’d actually be punished. With a server ban. That’s the downside of monitored server play.)

Other than that, it’s really just a pretty and more streamlined version of the original SimCity games.

They made some things more simple – you no longer have to lay down pipe or electrical wiring. That’s automatically done for you with the road. You still have to build utilities – electrical, sewage, water, and trash – and have to expand them to keep up with the city’s demand. Not to mention public departments, such as police, fire, education, finances, public transport, hospitals, etc.

Due to the server ball-and-chain, I won’t be bothering to get this game until it’s price comes down or it goes on sale. I’m assuming it’s Origin-only, so a sale on the digital version is a fat chance in hell – but I can still hope Newegg or someone will run a sale on the physical copy. Eventually.

(Or maybe EA will give it away for free, like they did with Dragon Age… Hmm…)

One last thing to mention, since I’m talking about the server again. There’s apparently going to be a multi-player function. Y’ know what?


I don’t want fucking multi-player in my SimCity. This is something I would play in order to get away from my asshole friends. I just want to build towns in the shape of dicks named Cock City, release zombies on the population, and then blow them all up with a meteor shower.

(Sorry about the lack of purdy pictures in this one. I didn’t think about getting screencaps while I was tornado-ing the former town of Dickton, now called **********.)

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply